Explanations

I woke up at 10am this morning. I kinda liked waking up early. Maybe it's cos I don't need to rush and I won't be late.

So I took my time and met Ariffah at 1pm. It was nice seeing her after such a longgg time. We met at Golden Village and bought movie tickets - He's just not that into you. We had lunch before our movie at Burger King. Ariffah's treat. Since, I am leaving. We caught up, and shared everything.

I shared how, I got cheated on my Praba. How I met Ashik and things didn't work out. How I hated love, and never wanted to fall in love again and never believed in love but somehow my handsome boyfriend appeared in my life and managed to crawl his way through my heart and won it.

How I met Sufardi, How I fell in love with Sufardi, How Sufardi chased after me, How Sufardi first proposed to me to be his girlfriend at Esplanade and How my dating days with Sufardi were.

Ariffah said, (with a disgusted face) no offence, but both your previous ex-es were so ugly. This one....CUTEEEE.

Haha. So far everyone finds Sufardi cute. That's the problem when you date a cute guy. They turn heads. They attract attention. And now that I am leaving....................... You all know I got cheated on............... I've got trust issues.

Like, back then, I didn't care. I didn't care when girls look at my boyfriends, I would never grab or hold them just to show that I'm his girlfriend. My mindset - look all you want, he's next to me. Not you.

And probably I trusted the guys I date so much, like maybe yeah, they enjoy the attention but they would never smile or wink to other girls behind my back.

But when I was like that, all that trust and love for Praba. That fcuking Sarah used to be so close to him in front of me, clearly disrespecting the fact that I was his girlfriend. I still wouldn't bother. My mindset - flirt all you want, he would never bother and would still love me. All that trust and all that confidence. And yet, Praba cheated on me with Sarah.

But hey, once when I was with Praba and some girl told me she was attracted to him, oh boy that girl got hell from me. Even Sarah got hell from me. She's still so afraid of me. She would fret like hell if she thought it was me on the streets. HAH. So seriously, don't mess with the person I'm dating. SG or UK. I tell you, you don't wanna see that side of me.

When I date someone, I make sure this guy is really worth it and won't do anything behind my back. Like, this guy would not be nonsense. Like, he wouldn't be so gatal. I analyze first.

I sure do analyze them.

So yes, with Sufardi, well, honestly? He has done a few things that got me all suspicious and lost trust in him. And goodness, sometimes he's like caught red-handed you know, but here's the thing, if you know him well enough, you listen to his explanation, you would know whether it's the truth or not.

Sometimes, I know he ain't telling the truth, little little white lies that doesn't hurt the relationship. It's okay. But when he's caught with something serious, I hear his explanation, sometimes it's a whole load of crap, seriously. But it's him you know, it's Sufardi. Like, yeah Sufardi is the type that is like this that this that.

You've gotta know him well. And in my case, this isn't complaining about Sufardi or showing you all his bad points. Mind you, his imperfections and flaws are nothing compared to his care, concern and endless love for me. This is just teling you, nobody's perfect and they make mistakes and if you know someone well, you will go, it's okay, he's like that, I understand. At the end of the day, he's not a bad guy.

I choose to love Sufardi, and I have to accept him the way he is. And the way he is? Just the way I like it with lots of sugar on top.